The Ugliest Bikes Ever Produced…

By Bud Wilkinson of RIDE-CT.com

It’s been said that there’s a motorcycle for every butt. While two-wheeled beauty is in the eye of the bike owner, some bikes are just plain butt ugly.  That’s rude to say, I know, because of the hours and the dollars that go into designing every new model, and the fact every bike ever made has at least a few supporters. However, some just jar the eyeballs.

RIDE-CT.com has come up with a Bottom 10 list of bikes that should have never made it out of the design studio. It’s not because of quality. That has no part in the aesthetic equation. The list is based solely on visual appeal. Daring does not always mean dazzling. Retro doesn’t guarantee rewarding lines. Following a trend doesn’t guarantee acceptance. Here goes:

10. Honda Fury

The chopper craze fueled in the early and mid-2000s by “American Chopper” had long since peaked by the time the world’s motorcycle manufacturers came out with production choppers, none of which particularly looked inspiring. Honda had the Fury with a chopped rear and extended front. Not only was it gangly, it was also plain and predictable; a bike built to merely (and belatedly) follow a trend.

9. Yamaha Raider/Suzuki Stryker

More of the same. Side by side (or one on top of another) these bikes look virtually alike – two more chopper clones that didn’t quite it the mark, with the best of the identical batch being the Harley-Davidson Rocker (not pictured).

The Yamaha Raider (in red) looks so much like the Suzuki Stryker (in blue) that they could have been drawn by the same person.

Sure, there are slight differences in the side covers and the placement of the radiator, but the exhaust pipes and wheels are nearly the same.

What makes matters worse is they look like they’re solely made of plastic; like they should come out of a cardboard box in a toy store rather than a shipping crate. Ugh.

8. Harley Davidson V-Rod

This one pains me. I had a 2004 V-Rod and I loved it. Great power, smooth power band and comfortable – after I added a Sundowner seat and got used to having my butt feel like it was trapped in a bucket, much like Winnie the Pooh with a honey jar stuck on his nose. For a long and heavy cruiser, it handled well, too, it just didn’t wear well over time in the looks department. What looked intriguing in the beginning ended up looking weird, kind of like dating a member of the Kardashian clan. Please, Harley, put the motor in a more conventional looking machine.

7. Honda Rune

If there ever was a motorcycle example of the male dog syndrome, the Rune was it.  It had six cylinders and a price tag north of $25,000 when the 2004 model came out. While some viewed the Rune as art, this mammoth motorcycle could be also justifiably viewed as bulbous overkill.

6. Buell Lightning

What comes to mind when looking at the Buell Lightning. How about collapsible gymnasium bleachers pushed hard against the wall? Really, look at it for a few seconds. What’s draws your eye? Nothing, and that’s part of problem. A Sportster engine hidden by a Rube Goldberg exterior.

5. Hyosung GV650

Remember when Korean cars first arrived on our shores? They weren’t exactly stylish like they are today. The same can be said the GV650. Frankly, it’s “girlie-looking,” and no bike should bear that description. No one wants a feminine bike – not even girls. File the GV650 under the heading of “nice try.” If Hyosung can show the design growth of the Korean car makers, well, a few years might make a big difference. For now, this would make a better coffee table than road machine.

4. Suzuki B-King

Offered up by Suzuki in 2007 as a naked version of the Hayabusa, the B-King never sold well. Could it because this bike with the fast food name looks  more like a Transformer than a motorcycle? With a whopper of a 1340cc engine and 181  horsepower, the B-King would certainly hasten your exit from the drive-thru line at Burger King.

3. BMW K1

Why does an image of a coffin come to mind then I see this BMW? The K1 was produced between 1988 and 1993 as sport touring bike but was simply too bizarre to fit in the otherwise staid line of the German builder. Even today it looks odd.

2. Honda DN-01

I still haven’t figured out what Honda was attempting with this over-priced, automatic transmission, shaft-driven, 680cc  model that was introduced in the U.S. in 2009 and dropped after the 2010 model year. It looked like a shark but lacked attitude. On the bright side, a used one comes cheap and just might be a collectable some day.

And the winner as the ugliest bike out there?

1. Suzuki HayabusaAm I the only one who thinks this monstrosity looks like a spray-painted egg carton? Or maybe an aging Hollywood star who has made a dozen too many trips to the plastic surgeon for collagen injections? Should the promotional line be “Hayabusas wobble but they don’t fall down?”

Introduced in 1999, the Hayabusa immediately claimed the title of world’s fastest production motorcycle. Hayabusa is Japanese for “peregrine falcon,” but the 2013 limited edition model (pictured above) looks more like an overweight duck. And this ugly duckling gets RIDE-CT.com’s vote as the ugliest bike ever built.